Friday fun: mocking the spam comments

Image courtesy of pandemia (Creative Commons)

Image courtesy of pandemia (Creative Commons)

Since moving to WordPress almost a year and a half ago, the number of spam comments has gone up markedly. Here, I’m just going to have a little fun with them, to show you the sort of things that get appear in the comments queue on a regular basis. I’ve also included a few others that people have sent me.

We begin with this tantalising morsel from a commenter called “payday loans”:

“psknhgldzm qdcokmgb eicgshw ntljtdegg”

Now, I’m not a fantastic linguist, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a recognised language. If it’s a cypher, it’s one that’s flummoxed me!

 

Next up, one from “cougar dating site” which appeared on my analysis of the local elections.

“Hello! I just wish to offer you a huge thumbs up for the excellent info you have right here on this post. I’ll be returning to your blog for more soon.”

I’m so glad you liked it, though I wonder why statistics on local politics would prompt a dating site for young men and older women. Just for your info, I tend to draw the line at women who are 3-4 years older than me.

 

This one from “coach” on the same post as the previous one.

“Wow, this article is good, my sister is analyzing these kinds of things, so I am going to inform her.”

That’s very nice of you, but I worry for your sister.

 

A comment from ‘Nike NFL Jerseys’ is unlikely to be genuine. But this is what they had to say:

“I’m extremely inspired along with your writing abilities and also with the structure for your weblog. Is that this a paid topic or did you modify it your self? Either way stay up the nice high quality writing, it’s rare to peer a nice weblog like this one nowadays.”

While I do make an effort to write material that is interesting, informative and clear, I hope my English is a little better than that employed in your comment. Just for the record, however, I do not receive payment for any of my blog posts.

 

Ready for another one? Here you go!

“Quality articles or reviews is the main to invite the users to pay a visit the web site, that’s what this web page is providing.”

That is barely English! Besides, I don’t advocate charging people to visit websites.

 

And another one:

“yamaha jet boat parts might be something you want to look into. I know your web page is about yamaha jet boat parts but seriously. I have seen sites like yours branch out into other areas and its been to their benefit.”

Excuse me? When have I previously written about Yamaha jet boats? That’s really not my thing.

 

Had enough yet? If not, carry on reading:

“I enjoy what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to blogroll.”

Guys? You mean there’s more than one of me???

 

Good Psychic Reading had this to say:

“I wish I could post like you. Your submit  An analysis of the local elections – West Sussex & Crawley | The Alethiophile has pushed me to get off my butt and get some word out to the world. You have boosted my confidence just by writing so well.”

Aim low and it’s hard to be disappointed.

 

A gloriously ironic comment from “heart problems”:

“Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any support is very much appreciated.”

Yes, I do get a lot of spam comments. Like yours, for example.

 

This one was sent to me from someone else’s blog:

“What i do not realize is actually how you’re not really much more well-liked than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize therefore considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from numerous varied angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs great. Always maintain it up!”

Any comment which brings a smile, however wry, must be a worthwhile contribution to any comments section, I’m sure you’ll agree.

 

Here’s one from http://www.hrconsultants.co.uk – apparently:

“well is say just Whenever you arrived at our site, the first you should know is you can buy the highest quality and most expensive ipad case, additionally your favorite apple ipad cases as well as ipad add-ons. You will find hundreds types of ipad situation”

Your erudition leaves me copiously flabbergasted.

 

Final one from Psychic Medium:

“icon might be something you want to look into. I know your niche site is about icon but seriously. I have seen sites like yours branch out into other areas and its been to their benefit.”

You’re psychic, right? I think you know what I think about this.

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39 responses to “Friday fun: mocking the spam comments

  1. “copiously flabbergasted” is the best phrase I have read today. (I don’t think this is spam, but am prepared for you to disagree!)

    • Oh, most certainly not. It was my intention to allow through all spam comments on this post, but so far none have come. Only seen one today from a herbal medicine link where the author/bot jokes about making death threats via Facebook.

  2. But where do you find a cougar woman to date? You’re not likely to find them at the usual places where twenty somethings hang out. You might get lucky and meet one at the gym, or perhaps at work. But even then, how can you be sure you’re meeting someone who’s interested? Lots of older women are not interested in the “young men older women dating” dynamic; after all, most women still like to date older guys, not younger ones.

  3. Love this. Made me chuckle. I’ve just checked the spam comments on my blog and discover I have got this (quite long but charmingly worded, and apropos of nothing) comment:

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    Not sure where they got the word ‘foodie’ or even ‘coffee’ from from the post it relates too, but hey, Spam is funny.

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  37. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

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